Victoria’s Secret has lots of gorgeous bras, lingerie, and underwear. That’s why every time there is a sale, we’re willing to get into a fight over that oh-so-pretty discounted lace bra. However, there are lots of questionable things for sale as well. It’s not the crazy tie-dyed pompom jacket or fuzzy shorts from the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, but it’s equally strange merchandise. When you sell 290 bras and 300 pairs of panties, there are going to be a few eyebrow-raising pieces.
(Related: 10 Affordable Places To Buy Underwear That Aren’t Victoria’s Secret)
Here are 14 WTF things you can buy at Victoria’s Secret:
1. Chantilly Lace Unlined Halter Bra, $58
Obviously, this is a “special occasion” bra because there are very few shirts that this would work under, and it would just look strange if you had a bit peeking out. It still reminds me more of a weird lace swimsuit than a fancy bra.
2. Fashion Show Bow Tie V-String Panty, $24
A bow detail is cute, but not when the bow is placed over two elastics. There is more fabric on the bow than on the rest of the panty. You could DIY this one at home for about $5.
3. Fashion Show Wings, $118
Ready to start planning your Halloween costume for 2023? You can buy your very own pair of Victoria’s Secret Angel wings. However, it doesn’t make you an angel, and that price is just for the wings. The bustier and any other accessories are extra.
4. Lace & Tulle Push-Up Bra, $79.50
This bra is quite pretty from the front, but the “bow” on the back doesn’t emphasize anything. It looks a bit like an anti-static laundry sheet got caught in the strap if you mistakenly put your bra in the dryer. Luckily, it is removable.
5. Sexy Little Things Zip Back Panty, $24
This is a sexy idea in theory, but it doesn’t really work in reality. If you think a fabric wedgie is bad, imagine what it is like to have a cold, hard metal zipper between your butt cheeks. Ouch.
6. The Lace Boatneck Babydoll, $39.50
There are going to be a few people who mistake this baby doll for a tunic. Then they will be very confused when they get home and realize it comes with a matching thong. Yes, it’s short, but isn’t it meant to be worn with leggings?
7. Cutout Bow-Back Bikini Panty, $22
In case you can’t read it, it says “no peeking” right on the crotch. On that note, I am moving on to the next one.
8. Very Sexy Fashion Show High-Low Skirt, $300
I will go to Victoria’s Secret to buy many things, including bras, underwear, and PJs, but I would not think to go there to buy a tulle ball gown skirt.
9. Jingle Bell Triangle Bralette, $34.50
Everyone needs some festive lingerie. What you probably don’t need is 32 little jingle bells on your bra. Do you know how annoying that would be? The ruffled bralette is sweet, so cut off the bells before you rip them off when you can’t stand the sound anymore.
10. Sequin Hiphugger Panty, $18.50
It’s best to just not design underwear with words because even if it’s not dirty, it will somehow sound dirty, or it’ll be really weird. This panty falls into the latter category. The “best gift you’ll get this year” message seems like a line from some awful reality show, and all that is missing is this that follows and the inevitable fistfight.
11. High Waist Lace-Up Thong, $228
Even if you were a billionaire, would you really want to spend over $200 on one pair of underwear–especially if all of the fabric from the butt cheeks was added around the waist?
12. Embellished Leather & Lace V-String Panty, $98
This is a pretty, but it’s basically a wear-once piece. It’s made of lace, leather, silk, and Swarovski crystals, so you can’t throw it in the wash with the rest of your delicates.
13. Fashion Show Sequin Cutout Teddy, $78
This looks like a strange cross between a swimsuit and some roller disco outfit from the 1970s. Maybe I would understand it better if she was wearing roller skates.
14. Strappy Back Halter Gown, $108
You could channel Gwyneth Paltrow and wear this on the red carpet, or you could put on your disco night light and wear it to bed. Either way, everyone will be confused.