All fashion-forward women must cease and desist IMMEDIATELY! Douse your closet in gasoline and light a match! We have reason to believe that some men don’t like some of our current fashion trends!

Our buds at the HuffPo recently posted a little gem called “23 Trends Guys Hate (But Women Love),” which showcases the condescending, dickish, irrelevant opinions of dudes who will never wear wedge sneakers and therefore don’t need to have any say in whether or not they’re acceptable. It isn’t a poll– the men weren’t asked, for example, if they thought a clothing item was cool or sexy or weird. They were simply asked to finish the sentence “I hate when women wear….” Promising!

The anonymous dudes gave some wildly original responses, like saying that high-waisted skirts are for women who are “trying too hard,” and that pantsuits are out of the question because “you’re a woman, not a man.” They also show off their unwavering certainty that we get dressed just to please them: “Guys won’t be looking at your shapely physique if…”

Here’s the thing, nameless bros: femininity doesn’t exist just to entice men. We don’t spend every waking moment wondering how we can look more bangable. And if you’re not attracted to “too much” eyeshadow (ugh), then the woman wearing it probably isn’t trying to attract you. (And maybe she’s interested in– gasp!– people who like a lot of eyeshadow!)

But in case this concept still goes over your head, dudes, we’ll help you out. Here are 10 reasons why we don’t care if you like our clothes.

  1. They’re not yours.
  2. We’re not always trying to impress you.
  3. We’re probably not interested in you.
  4. We might not even be interested in your gender.
  5. We might not be interested in anyone at all.
  6. We might not care about clothes.
  7. We might be dressing to send a message other than “please go out with me.”
  8. We might be dressing to impress a specific person.
  9. We might be dressing just to impress ourselves.
  10. THEY’RE NOT FOR YOU.

I understand that the world has repeatedly drilled into your head the idea that your every thought and feeling is valid, important, and worth sharing, but you don’t get to declare that all human women dress according to your boner. We’ll decide if peplums are stupid or not, because we’re the ones wearing them.

Quoth the patron saint of STFU, Amy Poehler, “I don’t f***ing care if you like it.”

Fashion Trends Men Hate

What do men want you to wear? High heels, a tank top, and skinny jeans. Should you? Don’t be ridiculous.

We asked our male friends the trends they hate the most, and then found good reasons you should try them anyway (though we agree that tanning yourself orange is just dumb).

Harem Pants

Dude says: Girls who wear these look like MC Hammer. No one wants to date MC Hammer.

We say: On the contrary, probably many people would like to date MC Hammer! That said, we’d rather look like Barbara Eden all gauzy and opaque (without the bare midriff, admittedly).

Suspenders

Dude says: They look geeky.

We say: There’s a fine line between geek and chic. Actually, pretty much everything “geeky” looks “chic” when someone cool and attractive wears it. So maybe there is no line.

Oversized Sunglasses

Dude says: The only explanation for these is that women are trying to imitate bugs.

We say: Jackie O a bug? A Queen Bee, maybe. Besides, we’re less into insects than we are into being glamorous and mysterious.

Red Lipstick

Dude says: It ends up producing a clown-mouth.

We say: Wait – what? Red lipstick? The most sophisticated and vampish of all possible looks? Avoid squirting water out of a lapel flower and we think you’ll be fine.

Maxi Dresses

Dude says: Guys generally prefer dresses where they can see something. And short skirts. For, umm, easy access.

We say: Wow, that’s gross. Girls prefer dresses where they can eat something. For, umm, easy happy belly bloating.

Menswear

Dude says: Remember that scene in Sex and The City where she wears a tuxedo to her friend’s wedding? She looked like she was going to run a circus.

We say: You remember Carrie Bradshaw? Meet Marlene.

Via HuffPo / Photos: Shutterstock, NBC

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