According to our female readers, these are the absolute worst styles of shoes for men.
The other day, we asked readers to tell us their least favorite thing to see a guy wearing. We had originally assumed the question would receive ten, maybe twenty items, but lo and behold: you ladies have a lot of opinions on men’s fashion. In order to break it up and not overwhelm dudes with all sorts of advice at once, we are going one type of item at once. Today’s topic: shoes. Namely, which shoes you hate seeing guys wear the most.
You can judge a lot about a guy just by the shoes he wears, and sometimes that’s not a positive thang. From flippy floppies and boat shoes with socks to non-gym gym shoes and loafers sans socks, these are the shoes our readers hate seeing on men.
1. Flip Flops
It’s cute when Andy Samberg does it (as all things Andy Samberg does are), but it’s less cute when anybody else ever does. To be honest, I hate flip flops altogether, but I especially don’t think they work well with most men’s clothing items, period.
2. Flip Flops With Socks
Commenter Kristen says, “Bonus: flip flops with socks. Kill me now.” Thong sandals–and already awful thing–are already uncomfortable, IMO, but with socks? WHY?
3. Loafers Sans Socks
Alexis says, “Loafers with no socks! Once I see that I feel like I know what kind of person you are.” And she’s right–you’re the type of guy with sweaty, chafed feet. Eughhh.
4. Boat Shoes With Socks
According to Alicia715, her boyfriend has started doing this, and it is not good:
I volunteered to buy him no shoe socks, but he thinks those are only for girls and won’t wear them. However, it is a step up from his knock-off brown crocs and socks. I started refusing to be seen in public with him while he wore that combo.
5. Tennis Shoes
Commenter Natalie finds this offensive when it’s not in the proper circumstances:
I HATE when guys wear tennis shoes (running shoes for you non-yinzers) with jeans or slacks or basically any time NOT at the gym or doing something athletic. I can’t tolerate a guy with bad shoes hitting on me. I feel like most guys get over this after college, but when I do see it… urgh.
I feel like I walk into a lot of rather nice bars and see most women wearing heels, but lots of guys wearing sneakers. Here. In New York City. There are like a million and a half nice stores to buy decent shoes at for relatively little money. Take off your sneakers and basketball shorts and put on some freaking Oxfords, or at least a nice pair of slip-ons if you’re feeling lazy.
We all love being comfy, it’s a little weird when you go on a first date with a guy, and you’re all dressed up, and he’s wearing boat shoes, a hoodie, and jeans that have blatantly not been washed since last week. Our commenter LittleBird stresses this regarding #5, but the same goes for the rest of these:
Like when guys wear baseball caps, sneakers, and their “nice hoodie” on a date, especially when the other person obviously took the time and cared to dress themselves well. Dudes, could you not!? It’s just rude.
That it is, girl.
Did anybody think these weren’t going to make an appearance? They are the Rob Kardashian of shoes; you rarely see them out and about in the real world, but when you do, they offend the shit out of you.
7. Long Athletic Socks
Okay, so this is a shoe style, but these go with your shoes, and they look real dumb if you are wearing shorts. Be a dear and grab a pair of ankle socks.
8. Shoes With Tassels
What are you, a Leg Avenue genie costume?
Personally, I love wearing my Sperry boat shoes on days when I want to be really comfortable, but I also acknowledge that (A) I look like kind of a tool and (B) my ankles are going to be disgusting later.
They might be back in style, but that doesn’t mean they’re back in our hearts. Yet.
11. Long Shoes With Weird Toes
Multiple people on Facebook remarked that long shoes with square or super point toes look weird. Hannah Fuller says she dislikes excessively long, pointy shoes: “Is this necessary? You look like a fancy-ass clown,” while Mychal Balazs isn’t down with more geometric styles, like “shoes with square toes.”
12. Sandals. Period.
That’s right: not just flip-flops or Birkenstocks. Our reader Alwyn simply says she hates “sandals. all of them.”
And my friend Chelsea noted a very specific thing that absolutely drives me nuts:
Sandals of any kind. Flip flops are an even higher offense, especially the cloth kind that guys like to live in until they are unraveling and dragging on the ground.
Ugh. Just like getting new shoelaces when yours are all gross and tattered, you need to let your shoes straight up go when they’re falling apart like that.
Before somebody gets upset at me for shoe shaming these dudes, I’ll say what I said to a commenter who expressed discontent at my original post: there’s a difference between saying “I hate those shoes” and “you’re a gross, terrible, ugly human being for wearing those shoes” or, worse, “those shoes can only be worn by tall/thin/muscular/whatever” guys, as is what tends to happen on most men’s sites when the topic arises of what dudes love or hate seeing women wear. If you are a guy and want to wear boat shoes with socks, by all means, do! But don’t be surprised when your lady friend can’t stop laughing. And stay tuned for the rest of this little series!