Did you know that bras are actually optional? Did you know that if you ever don’t feel like wearing one… you don’t have to?
If you’ve been hoisting up your jiggly bits for full decades of your life, you definitely deserve a break. Just be warned– these 20 things will happen.
1. You’re so excited to go out into the world, feeling careless and free.
2. Until a cold breeze (or a grocery store’s frozen food aisle) makes you self-conscious about visible nippage.
3. You get distracted for a minute because you’re too fascinated by how much your chest can jiggle.
4. You wonder if you’re perspiring more than usual. You try to find a surreptitious way to smell-check your pits.
5. And you may be wiped away your boob sweat when nobody’s looking.
6. You see some other woman adjusting her bra and you feel a little smug.
7. An old man looks directly at your nipples, reminding you that old men are probably looking at your breasts every other day, too, and you just haven’t been noticing.
8. A little kid looks directly at your nipples, reminding you that little kids are awkward and hilarious.
9. Walking up a flight of stairs is suddenly a painful experience.
10. You can’t even think about walking down a flight of stairs without crossing your arms over your chest.
11. You have a sudden desire to buy every backless dress and top you see.
12. For a minute or two, you’re totally convinced that you’re Madonna.
13. And Rihanna.
14. Coincidentally, you’re also Christina Aguilera.
15. And probably Kate Upton, too.
16. You notice another woman not wearing a bra and you feel some kind of weird sisterhood bond.
17. You start to wonder if you’ve discovered the ultimate secret to female happiness.
18. You feel weirdly compelled to spread the gospel of bralessness to all your friends.
19. And you vow to never wear a bra again!
20. Until tomorrow, probably.
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