25 Annoying Things You’ll Only Understand If You Have Big Boobs

As I mentioned earlier in my post on bra tips and tricks, I have rather large breasts. This aspect of my body is neither here nor there; I was born, I grew up, and somewhere along the way my chest went from a Semi-Visible B to a size Can’t Squeeze Past People On The Subway DDD. Even though I’m totally down with my big boobs these days, there are plenty of things that happen on a regular basis that I can’t imagine occurring had I been granted much smaller ones. If you’re a large-chested lady and can relate, these 20 annoying things are a shout-out to you.

1. Having to hold your boobs as you walk down the stairs.
2. Needing two sports bras when you work out.
3. …Because otherwise, they are in actual danger of whacking you in the chin.
4. People assuming you’re humblebragging when you mention having trouble fitting clothes over your chest.
5. Dropping food down them. Whoops!
6. How annoying cross strap bags are to wear.
7. The phrase, “Anything more than a handful is a waste.”
8. BOOB SWEAT.
9. Assumptions that you are “slutty” or “trashy” whenever you wear an outfit that shows even a slight big of cleavage.
10. Literally getting kicked out of places because of your boobs…while smaller breasts can “get away” with the exact same outfits. Ugh.
11. Never being able to wear strapless dresses.
12. Getting told by people to enjoy your big breasts now because later on, they’ll be saggy (as though you and your boobs’ ego need to put in their place).
13. That stupid gap between your upper buttons because your shirt shrank and now your boobs are about to pop out.
14. Going to a lingerie store and all the small bras are like.
15. Using your boobs as a place to rest plates or wine glasses. (Okay, this one’s actually just awesome.)
16. People asking outright if you have big nipples.
17. The fact that “built-in” bras are never actually bras for you.
18. Whenever people assume you like the attention you get from your breasts.
19. Friends grabbing at them because they’re OMG JUST SO BIG.
20. The way cute baby doll dresses just look like you’re about to have a baby when you wear them.
21. People asking you “where you got your boobs.”
22. How your boobs sunburn before your face does.
23. Trying to squeeze by people at a crowded party without rubbing your chest against them. (It’s impossible.)
24. People calling them “melons,” “jugs” or any other weird name.
25. Anything sold at Urban Outfitters was absolutely not made with the intention of fitting your boob type.