Rejection sucks no matter the form it’s in. It stinks when friends bail on you to hang out, it sucks when you get let go from the volleyball team, and it majorly kills when you’re rejected from your dream college. But really, rejection is especially awful when it comes to love, like when you get rejected by your crush.
Just thinking about it makes my heartache. You develop feelings for your crush; you think that there’s something there, then you put yourself out there and — wham! Rejection. Gah. Maybe, you thought that you didn’t approach the situation right, or you did it at the wrong moment, so you tried it again. Then the same thing happens. Or, maybe you experience the same soul-crushing rejection with another person. We’ve all been there. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to get any easier with experience.
Normally in these situations, we have an urge to hide under our blankets and/or drown our sorrows in a tub of ice cream, but trying to narrow down the reason for the rejection could help you in the future. That’s where I come in today. Have a look at seven reasons why your crush could be rejecting you.
You’re Coming On Too Strong
People are often attracted to confidence, but there’s a fine line between confidence and coming on way too strong. Even if someone is into you, they might be put off if you are too blunt or suffocating. You can see where they’re coming from. If you felt someone was coming on to you too strong at this stage, imagine what it would be like if you were actually in a relationship with them.
Your Crush Doesn’t Have Feelings For You
I know that it stings even more, to think about things this way, but it’s a simple reason for the rejection. You could be feeling some very strong feelings for your crush, while he/she might not be feeling the same way. Or, maybe your crush does have feelings for you, but they’re in a platonic, sisterly sort of way. Yeah, I know that’s no better than not having any feelings, but it could be the case.
Your Crush Isn’t Ready For A Relationship
People like to use the line *it’s not you, it’s me.* Sometimes, we think that it’s lies and it’s trying to put a *nice* spin on a rejection, but it could be the truth. Maybe your crush just isn’t ready for a relationship. He/she could have just gotten out of one, your crush could still have feelings for his/her ex, or maybe there’s just so much going on his/her life that he/she couldn’t handle a relationship.
Your Crush Is Confused About What You Want
You might think that you’re being very clear with your feelings and what you want, but maybe your crush has no idea what you want. Maybe, your crush doesn’t even realize that your advances are advances at all. Sometimes, people can actually be pretty clueless about these sorts of things. Or, maybe your crush is confused whether you want to date, a fling, a friends with benefits deal, or you want a serious, exclusive relationship.
Your Crush Wants You To Make A Clear Move
Have you actually spelled out your feelings for your crush and where you want them to go? Or, have you been dropping *obvious* hints and hoping that your crush will make the first proper move? If it’s the latter one, your crush may recognize your feelings but not be ready to make a move. In fact, he/she might be shy and waiting for you to make a proper move as opposed to just dropping hints. Right now, you could be getting brushed off because your crush could be thinking this is all teasing or a game. He/she wants some serious proclamation before committing.
Your Crush Has Feelings For Someone
Argh, I know this one stings. It’s one thing for a crush not to have feelings for you, but it’s worse if they do have romantic feelings, but they’re for someone else. It can happen. Maybe your crush has his/her eye on someone else. It’s also possible that your crush is still pining over an ex. In either option, your advances would be turned down.
Your Crush Likes Being Single
There are people who are serial monogamists, and there are people who love being single. Then there are people who fall somewhere in between. Have you considered what one your crush is? You might think he/she is the type who wants a relationship, but maybe he/she enjoys flying solo and has no interest in being with someone.
Our Best Posts About Rejection To Help You Move On
Rejection is overall one of the worst feelings ever. Getting rejected from a school or a club definitely hurts a lot, but getting rejected by a person always seems to sting a little bit more. Hearing your crush say that he/she doesn’t like your back feels like getting kicked in the stomach and being dumped because the “feelings are gone” can be even worse.
While being rejected definitely hurts the most, rejecting someone is also tough (unless you enjoy causing pain). It’s really hard to tell your best guy friend that you don’t like him that way. It’s super difficult to say no to a second date when you didn’t enjoy the first one. It’s not easy for anyone to say no to someone, especially someone who’s nice to us.
Luckily, we’ve written about rejection advice for whichever side you’re on. Want to know how to reject someone? Or how to deal if you’ve been rejected? Want to just laugh about it a little? Read our best posts about rejection that will help you move on.
How do you recover from being rejected by your crush? Let us know in the comments!
Dating Expert, Contributing Writer
Cathy is a dating site consultant and dating expert. I possess a strong passion for people, heart-felt facilitation, and provocative storytelling. I use my voice in writing, speech to provoke awareness and positive personal change.