There are various reasons why some women may be afraid to admit that they consider themselves attractive. One reason is venustraphobia or caligynephobia, which is the fear of beautiful women.

Additionally, women may be objectified and judged based on their appearance, leading to self-objectification and focusing on their physical appearance rather than their other qualities.

Society’s beauty standards can also contribute to women feeling insecure about their looks. Fear of intimacy and vulnerability can also play a role in women’s reluctance to admit their attractiveness.

In the end, each woman’s experience is unique and may depend on a variety of factors.

At a normal Wednesday night dinner with my boyfriend last week, I got onto an interesting subject with him. We were discussing an app where girls get to rate guys on various aspects of being in a relationship. After checking out the app, a question popped into my head. I looked up at him and asked, “What would you rate yourself?” He answered and then posed the same question to me.

I was so surprised by the way that he answered the question that I didn’t expect this little, innocent question to make me dig so deep into my mind, but it did. When I answered, he was also surprised that I didn’t say a higher number. It got me to thinking: Why are we so afraid to admit we’re attractive?

This matter—especially with women—is one I definitely do not understand but nonetheless experience. Women spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars each year to look and feel good, between makeup, salon appointments, new clothes, gym memberships, skincare, and so much more. How come, even after all that, we’re still too afraid to admit that we’re pretty damn good-looking?

Believe it or not, we regular, everyday gals aren’t the only ones who have an issue with feeling like a dime. In an interview with the TJ Show on Boston’s 103.3 AMP in July, singer and actress Selena Gomez rated herself a six or seven on the “hotness scale.” Now, I’m sure we can all come to a mutual agreement that Selena Gomez is probably one of the most stunning people out there.

The way I look at it, we’re all self-conscious. We’ve all been called out or made fun of by someone at some point, and chances are it probably scarred us for life. I remember one of my ex-boyfriends telling me I had weird teeth, and I still look in the mirror some days and want to stop smiling.

But, we have to take a second to stop and realize (as you’ve probably heard from your mom dozens of times) that the people who are making fun of you and calling you out are probably the most insecure people of all.

My point is: Of course, you should be confident in yourself. We are all beautiful in some way, shape, or form. That said, we’re also all our own worst critics, so it’s understandable that we’d be hesitant to speak highly of ourselves. On the other hand, it’s also so easy to sound more cocky than confident when speaking even somewhat highly about yourself.

There’s a fine line between sounding like a spoiled little girl from some rich little town who gets everything handed to her and spends all her daddy’s money on spa treatments like it’s her job and sounding like a decent human being. The secret is to speak highly of yourself. Try to celebrate rather than to brag.

Of course, if you just spent hundreds of dollars to get your hair balayaged and you want to walk around tossing and flipping your hair, more power to you, girl. Whatever makes you feel most confident in yourself should be fine with everyone else. The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t have to be afraid to be confident in yourself and work with what your mama gave you. Release your inner Beyoncé, and don’t let anyone get in your way of feeling yourself.

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