Navigating friendships is a journey. This is especially true among women. It can be complex but rewarding. I’ve found some gems. But, I’ve also met a few who, well, weren’t quite the cheerleaders they seemed. Learning to spot the difference has been quite the adventure. Recently, I stumbled upon a conversation. It really opened my eyes to what being a “girl’s girl” means. For those in the back, a “girl’s girl” lifts other women up. They don’t tear them down for a laugh or to catch someone’s eye. Here are some red flags. They might show that someone doesn’t meet that golden standard. Some of these surprised me!

  1. The Not-Like-Other-Girls Badge: This one’s a classic. I remember a friend. She always pointed out how she was different. She didn’t like makeup or shopping. She almost implied that those who did were less interesting or shallow. It’s a subtle way of elevating oneself. It’s done by putting down others’ interests. This is especially true in mixed company. It’s not just about preferences; it’s about respect.
  2. The Gossip Mill: Gossip can sometimes feel like the glue of social interactions, but it’s a sticky, messy glue. I’ve been on both sides of this and neither feels good. It’s a sign of mistrust. If they’re sharing others’ secrets with you, yours are probably not safe either.
  3. Nail Drama: A friend complimented then criticized getting nails done all in the same breath. This flip-flop was an eye-opener for me. It’s not just about nails; it’s about authenticity and respect. Actions and words should align, especially when it comes to personal choices.
  4. Period Shaming: This is just cruel. Period accidents are embarrassing enough without someone adding to the discomfort. Empathy is vital in friendships. Laughing at someone’s misfortune is the opposite of supportive.
  5. Put-Downs for Laughs: Being mocked for a laugh, especially in front of others, can sting. I’ve been there, laughed off a comment about my makeup in front of a crush, feeling smaller by the second. It’s about attention at your expense.
  6. Single Shaming: The idea that being single or liking solitude means failure is outdated. Friendship should uplift, not impose outdated societal expectations.
  7. Makeup Police: These comments are about the person making them. They reflect their views, not your makeup choices. They happen if you wear too much or too little makeup. It’s a subtle way of undermining someone’s confidence.
  8. Safety Neglect: Ignoring a friend’s safety for any reason is a massive red flag. It speaks volumes about a person’s values and their concept of friendship.
  9. The Paparazzi Friend: It’s violating to have your vulnerable moments broadcasted, especially after expressing discomfort. It’s a breach of trust and respect.
  10. The “Females” Term: This one feels dehumanizing. It’s a signal that the person might view women more as categories than as individuals.
  11. Stay-at-Home Mom Disdain: Everyone’s path is unique. Criticizing life choices, especially about parenting, is deeply personal and unnecessary. Support should be unconditional.
  12. The User Friend: This pattern of using friends for personal gain without reciprocation is exhausting. It’s a one-sided friendship where one party is left feeling used and undervalued.
  13. The Gossip Paradox: It’s contradictory. You can’t claim to support women while tearing them down behind their backs. True support is consistent, both in public and private.
  14. Resource Withholding: Something as simple as sharing a hair tie can be a small but meaningful act of support. Refusing to help in small ways can reflect a person’s overall approach to friendship.
  15. Body Shaming and Over-Talking: Friends should make you feel seen and heard, not self-conscious or silenced. If someone’s always putting you down or hogging the conversation, it’s a sign of disrespect.
  16. Guy’s Girl: Only having male friends. It suggests that you dismiss the value of female friendships. It can show a lack of interest in building real, supportive relationships. It can show a lack of interest in building them with other women.
  17. The Wardrobe Malfunction Silence: A true friend has your back, even in potentially embarrassing situations. It’s about looking out for each other.
  18. Public Call-Outs: Being publicly called out, especially in a demeaning way, is humiliating. It’s about power dynamics and not about constructive feedback or support.
  19. Anti-Woman Boss Sentiment: Preferring not to work for women. Or, having negative stereotypes about female leadership can indicate internalized sexism. It’s a reflection of how someone views women in power.
  20. Comparison Traps: This tactic hurts your relationship. It also boosts them by hurting you. It’s manipulative and creates unnecessary competition.
  21. Using Others to Look Better: Exploiting someone else’s insecurities to boost one’s own image is shallow and cruel. It’s a betrayal of trust and camaraderie.
  22. Joy Squashing: Dampening someone’s happiness with negativity not only hurts the individual but also poisons the atmosphere of the entire friendship group.
  23. Disregard for Relationships: Showing interest in someone who is taken is disrespectful. It also shows a lack of integrity to dismiss their relationship.
  24. Victim-Blaming: Blaming someone for their experiences, especially when they’ve been wronged, is harmful. It perpetuates stereotypes and isolates the victim further.

Navigating friendships is a complex dance of mutual respect, support, and genuine care. Recognizing these red flags isn’t about judgment. It’s about fostering better, more supportive relationships. And let me tell you, when you find those true “girl’s girl” friends, it’s like finding your tribe.

They’re the ones who cheer for you, stand by you, and uplift you, no questions asked. Here’s to finding and nurturing those friendships. They are truly worth a lot.

Got thoughts on what makes a true ‘girl’s girl’? Share your insights and experiences below. We’d love to hear from you!

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