Dating isn’t always easy for queer women, especially if they don’t have much experience. Yet nowadays, dating has become so simple that it’s tricky to get good dates. At least that’s what some women say. Others can’t get any dates whatsoever. Both groups make similar mistakes and pass on great opportunities. This article will make sure that doesn’t happen anymore.
When there’s so much choice, people seek perfection just because there are plenty of opportunities around. In places with many queer women, that can cause the Netflix effect. Girls keep browsing without watching anything (going to dates) because they want something perfect. The more they look, the less they remember, so those that seemed good are blended into the mass. Seems familiar?
Don’t do that anymore. Even Sisyphus would mock perfectionists because he’d know that they never get anything done. He at least gets his rock to the top for a split second. Those who waste their lives waiting for perfection never see any tops. Instead of waiting to see the perfect girl, meet some of those that seem like there might be something. You’d be surprised how many girls have so much to give after you get to know them.
But don’t expect to have romantic comedy moments where you catch the glance of a shy girl in a grocery shop. You can already imagine your wedding, so you talk to her, and the fireworks start. Such things rarely happen because it’s impossible to know if someone is a) single, b) lesbian/bisexual, and c) looking for dates. Many queer girls waste too much time trying to build connections from scratch by guessing those three things. That’s one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, mistakes anyone can make in dating.
Instead of guessing, be where potential matches are. We already mentioned that online dating could feel overwhelming. But that’s true only for huge general sites where anyone can join, and no one knows what they want. There are sites specializing in different relationships – casual, serious, long-distance, etc. On niche sites for bisexual women dating queer women don’t have to guess if other girls there are into women. They are obviously single and looking for dates. Niche sites don’t have 50 million users, so you don’t feel like you’re standing naked in front of the crowd. Also, profiles reveal more info about members, giving you the advantage and saving a lot of time.
Do you know who doesn’t get many dates online? Girls who don’t share anything and just upload profile photos. It’s crucial to give enough info to other members and the algorithm on every dating platform. When you like a picture and want to find more about a girl on her profile, and all you see is a void, that’s a red flag, especially on sites for serious dating.
Use every bit of space on your profile. That will show other girls that you care and give the algorithm more info to suggest better matches. Don’t forget to show personality in the description. Listing your height, weight, and hair color might be enough if you’re a teddy bear. But you’re a person. Show who you are, be clear about your goal and be honest. It’s a simple recipe for getting more dates online, yet most queer girls forget it.
It’s not rare for less experienced girls to pretend as if they’ve been with a number of ladies. In dating (and life in general), faking it till you make it is one of the worst strategies. Never living up to the expectations you put in front of yourself is torture. It’s hard to be happy with yourself. Other girls won’t be around you. Some girls get dates by pretending to have more experience, but once it’s time to walk the walk, they’re as see-through as glass. That causes stress and can crush confidence.
So honesty, girls, honesty. Always be honest. It doesn’t matter if you’re still exploring your sexuality and you’ve never dated another woman. That would be a problem only to women you wouldn’t want to date for a long time anyway. Being true to yourself and others will take you far.
Do you know who never gets dates online, offline, or anywhere? Girls who run away from every opportunity and never make first moves. Instead of waiting to be discovered, be active. Send messages to girls you’d love to meet. Nothing tragic can happen. So what if they don’t reply or ghost you after 3 days? There are always more single women around. And with every chance you take, you either get dates or dating lessons. Both are valuable.
Iskra Banović is our seasoned Editor-in-Chief at BlueFashion. She has been steering the website’s content and editorial direction since 2013. With a rich background in fashion design, Iskra’s expertise spans across fashion, interior design, beauty, lifestyle, travel, and culture.