How To Work Out When It's Literally Too Hot To Move

I don’t know if any of you have noticed (and, honestly, I don’t know what the weather is like anywhere other than NYC), but it’s freakin’ hot as balls. Yeah, I said it. HOT. AS. BALLS. No joke, I’m relatively certain that the air is, like, 95 percent boiling water. And, unfortunately, because I’m not six, “I’m too hot” isn’t necessarily a valid excuse for not working out anymore. A break, sure, but not skipping a workout altogether. Plus, if I keep that up, the excuses will snowball all the way through the winter when the classic “I’m too cold” excuse rears its ugly head. Best nip it in the bud and sweat literally all of the liquid out of my body, that’s what I always say.

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But how to do it? I think we can all agree that actually completing a workout, let alone getting the adequate motivation to do anything other than lazing around in an inflatable, above-ground pool with one of those old-school Squeeze Breeze spray fans when it’s this unbearable outside. But fear not, I’ve suffered for your benefit and figured out how to work out when it’s literally too hot to move.

Here we go:

1. Get in the pool

I know what you’re thinking: I’m not doing water aerobics, I’m not senile and gumming on creamed corn in some old folks’ home. Well, first of all, I wouldn’t judge you if you were, and second of all, I’m not talking water aerobics (necessarily). I’m talking good ol’ fashioned laps. Swimming is great cardio and a great way to build muscle, and if you think just swimming back and forth is too monotonous of a workout, try switching it up with these 60-second interval workouts!

2. Work out during the early hours

Look, I love sleeping, probably more than the average person, but as I’m sure we’ve all realized at one point or another, it’s way cooler in the morning when the sun is lower in the sky than it is in the afternoon. #Science. If you’re an outdoor runner/exerciser type, the wee hours of the morning are probably your best bet.

3. Go for a hike

Okay, so depending on where you go, you’ll still be really hot, since some hiking trails don’t offer much shade. But if you find a good forest hike or something? It’ll be way cooler in the woods, and it’s summer guys—get out there and enjoy the fresh air.

4. Try Tabata

So I just learned about this, and no, it is not, in fact, the same thing as tabouli, even if that is the first thing you think of when you see the word “Tabata.” Basically, it’s a high-intensity interval workout that can be done literally anywhere (hello, air-conditioned apartment). You pick a handful of workouts that focus on different muscle groups (squats, push-ups, lunges, burpees, etc.) and go as hard as you can for 20-second intervals. Basically, it’s like P90X without looking at the scary, built-up fitness pros. Speaking of which…

5. Try P90X

It’s a DVD, so it’s meant to be done at home. Just be careful with this—I tried a similar program with my roommate once and she ended up flaring up an old sports injury. Since you’re doing it by yourself and there’s no trainer to tell you that you’re doing something wrong, make sure you’re not pushing yourself to the point of pain or injury.

6. Do some yoga

It’s not as high-intensity, so as long as you’re not doing hot yoga or anything, you should be fine. Plus the warmer weather combined with the deep stretches will make your body feel awesome.

7. Sack up and go to the gym

I haven’t done a poll of every gym in the world, but I’m pretty sure a majority of them are air-conditioned. If you really feel like you’ve overheated from the walk to the gym, sit in the locker, or hop in a cold shower before you start your workout, then go through the gym motions as usual. There’s not an easy fix for everything, y’all.

8. Beach volleyball

Don’t sit here and try to tell me that you don’t go to the beach. Even go to the beach, and I get a sunburn from sitting next to an open window on a sunny day for more than five minutes. Grab some friends and maybe that hot shirtless dude you know you’re creepily eyeing and play a few sets.

If you want to avoid getting tanned in the hot sun, you and your mates should opt for color coordinated volleyball shirts. Not only will it help you from the harsh summer rays of the sun, but it will also help you up the professionalism of your volleyball game. If you are playing with a competing team, this will help you with team building activities!

And, as always, drinks all of the water that’s ever watered. You’ll dehydrate so much faster when you’re sweating everything out in the hot summer sun, and you won’t necessarily realize it until it’s starting to make you feel ill. Make sure you always have a full water bottle nearby, and (not to sound like an annoying camp counselor) drink it even if you’re not thirsty.

Have fun getting sweaty, kids!

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