You may have noticed that whenever you are having a tough day or facing mood swings, it becomes very easy for you to get affected by what others say. It may be something straightforward, like, ‘you’re doing it wrong,’ and that alone is enough to ruin your good day.
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Almost all of us have encountered something like this, people who have been mean towards us, people who have passed sarcastic remarks, people being rude, unfair, or downright cruel toward us. These types of run-ins tend to form bad memories in our minds, and whenever we revisit them, they strike a specific nerve in us.
Sometimes we randomly remember something that happened to us in the past, and we think of all the comebacks that we could have said and end up resenting the whole encounter and why we didn’t strike back at that particular time. It is ubiquitous to have such feelings of anger, resentment, or disappointment, especially when someone has wronged us.
One thing to engrain in your mind is that there will be different and difficult people in almost all other places in life. You can not control situations, people’s actions, or people’s attitudes, but you can control how you respond to all of them. This will be the wisest and most significant change you can bring in yourself. If we choose not to react and give our energy to a certain thing, we are not giving them the power to get under our skin.
Why are people rude or mean in the first place?
Rudeness is when people act impolite and disrespectful towards another person. There may be a serious underlying issue behind this façade, and it is important to understand that to sympathize, if not empathize, with such people. Whenever we’re on the receiving end of something rude from someone, it can impact us. This world is not a utopia where everything is fair and perfect, and it is a misconception if you think everybody will be kind, respectful, caring, and just simply nice towards you.
Some root causes of rudeness are low self-esteem and insecurity. How we treat others is a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. If a person is negative and very critical of himself, he will likely have such an attitude toward others. Such people often mask their low self-esteem behind their rudeness to make themselves feel strong somehow.
Moreover, personal problems or an underlying personality disorder can also be the cause of such boorish people.
How can we stop letting people ruin our day?
Understanding that the world is not a perfect place
Bringing acceptance towards the fact that this world is unfair, unjust, and just far from perfect. There will always be stuff happening to us, things going wrong, people doing us wrong, and bad stuff happening. We cannot control all that, but we can bring ourselves to accept it and change how we react and respond to such people.
While trying to even score with such people, you might weigh yourself down or humiliate yourself. Thus, acknowledge that this stuff happens in this world and move on.
No need to out win such people
Since mean and rude people strike a different kind of nerve in us, they bring out negative emotions that drive us to take revenge and not let them get away with what they did. In this case, re-evaluate your definition of winning. Retaliation will not let you win or make you feel better. You can even end up upsetting yourself in the process of our winning them. Remind yourself that you are too precious to waste your energies on such people; ignoring them is the best solution.
Let go of regret
Whenever we face something unpleasant and nasty, we often think of those moments and regret how we did not respond in the way we should have. We often regret how we did not teach such horrible people a lesson, and we should not have let them get away with it. It is crucial to let go of that sorts of thoughts, to release yourself from this burden, and to feel peaceful at heart. When we hold on to something negative, we destroy our peace.
Control your response
Take control of your emotions and observe your anger. We upset ourselves for being upset. Deep inside, you may also know that it’s stupid to hold on to something like that and keep dwelling on what happened but still, we keep clinging to it. In fact, the harder you try to stop thinking about it the more you will end up thinking about it and ultimately disrupt your peace. In this case, take charge of your emotions, notice what you’re feeling, allow yourself to experience them, and then know in your heart that just as it is crucial to acknowledge your feelings, it is also important to release negative emotions and not let them get the best of you.
Finally, own your happiness – the takeaway
Do not let other people decide how you feel. Do not ruin your perfectly fine day because of something stupid someone said. Do not give people the power to take the best of you and your emotions. Do not let them govern your day. Know that their bad behavior is a reflection of them, not us. How you choose your happiness is entirely up to you, it is solely your job and not anyone else’s.