There is a lot of good beauty advice to follow, like: using shaving cream for your legs and finding a foundation shade that matches your face, not your hand. Just like the advice your mother gave you, you don’t always listen to everything (especially about boys, she’s always wrong there). I have the best intentions of following it, but who honestly wears sunscreen every single day of the year? And who actually tosses their mascara away after six months? It would be a big enough challenge remembering the month you purchased it, let alone keeping track of when to toss it. So in honor of you and your laziness, I put together a list of beauty tips that you usually ignore along with shortcuts that will help you actually get them done.
Get your hair cut every six weeks
Who hasn’t had the salon shame talk where you go over to the receptionist to pay $75 for a haircut and blow-dry, and they say they’ll book your monthly trim now after you waited six months between appointments. If I cut my hair as often as my hairdresser told me, I’d end up with locks as short as Walter White. I’m not a plant that needs regular pruning, nor does my hair grow like one.
Shortcut: To maintain your ends in between salon visits, try fortifying products like TRESemmé, anti-breakage shampoo, and conditioner.
Take off your makeup every night
It’s 4 AM, and you come home wasted, do you: a) grab your Clarisonic and go to town, or b) pass out with your clothes on and pray that you don’t wake up in a pile of puke. Who thought once about removing makeup when you probably forgot to set your alarm? Even on the soberest of days, taking off your makeup is a chore.
Shortcut: Makeup wipes such as Neutrogena Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes are the lazy girl’s best friend. Put them in your purse and remove the slap on the cab ride home.
Use a basecoat and topcoat
I know they’ll make my nail polish last longer, but they will also make the drying time that much longer too. I will become bored of waiting for my nails to dry, go on the computer or eat a bag of chips and end up smudging my nails. So my manicure really didn’t last that much longer, did it?
Shortcut: To save on drying time but still get long-lasting results, try a gel nail color like Nails Inc. Gel Effect Polish which has the staying power of a gel mani.
Wear sunscreen every day
I know I should be wearing sunscreen every day, just like I know I should only have one cupcake but do I listen to either? No. I will have no one to blame but myself when I am as leathery and wrinkled as an old boot. But how many dermatologists wear sunscreen when it’s 10°F, and there’s a blizzard? I bet they don’t even reapply sunscreen after swimming. Tsk. Tsk.
Shortcut: Instead of adding another product to your rushed got-to-catch-the-train-now morning routine, choose a moisturizer that already has protection in it like Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer SPF 30.
Throw away your mascara after 6 months
Some greedy marketers experts say 3 months while others say 6. I say I spent $11 on a regular mascara, and I’m going to use it all. When it starts clumping, I’ll use it for a few more weeks. Then when it finally starts to smell, I’ll consider tossing it. Only when it doesn’t elongate my lashes the way, it used to will I reluctantly throw it in the trash.
Shortcut: To prevent waste and reduce potential eye infections, try a mini mascara like TARTE Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara, which comes in a fun-sized 0.16 oz bottle. Or keep an eye out for makeup bonuses that usually have a mini mascara included with the too-brown lipstick and eye serum.
Don’t pick zits
If I’ve got a pimple on my chin that looks like a volcano about to erupt, it’s impossible not to squeeze it. There are lots of fun ways to make a zit disappear but popping one is at the top. It’s so damn satisfying. Totally disgusting but still damn satisfying.
Shortcut: Prevent the urge to pick by avoiding spots altogether with Clean & Clear Advantage Acne Control Kit.
Exfoliate before you self tan
I barely have enough time to self-tan. I already don’t bother waiting an hour for it to soak in and put my clothes on after 10 minutes, which is why some of them are stained. If I shower and use a loofah every day, how much dead skin build-up could I possibly have? I’m not a reptile.
Shortcut: Exfoliate as you wash with a grainy shower gel such as Dove Gentle Exfoliating Body Wash.
Give the blow dryer and/or flat iron at least one day off a week
I think they say it should ideally be every other day, but whatever it is, I’m not going to listen. If I wash my hair, I need to dry it. I’m not going to get up early so my hair can air dry for three hours. And I’m not going to go out with soaking wet hair so people can ask if I slept in.
Shortcut: Try just blow drying your hair and forgo the flat iron, or partially dry it and put it up. This Topshop bow elastic is super cute.
Use a primer
A new category of makeup was invented to get us to spend more money, I mean, improve our makeup’s staying power. Why can’t they just put the magic ingredients in the eye shadow, to begin with? Boom.
Shortcut: Skip the primer and just choose long-lasting products like Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow.
Use proper makeup brushes
I don’t apply my makeup the way Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, so I don’t need enough brushes to rival an artist’s palette. Who needs four different brushes for a shadow? I will use that tiny sponge they handily provided, thank you very much. Then I will throw it out with the shadow, and I’ll never have to worry about washing it.
Shortcut: Forget applicators all together and use products like creams or liquid shadows, such as e.l.f. All Over Color Stick.