2021 seems like it went by so quickly there was no time for beauty resolutions. But now that 2022 is underway, it’s time to just cut 2021 loose and start fresh. If you’re making up your resolutions, here are 11 beauty resolutions you should actually stick with this year.
1. Quit Smoking
Smoking is really bad for you, and it’s awful for your skin. Also, it’s way expensive. If you have not yet quit, this should probably be resolution #1 on your list.
2. Exercise
Bleh. I hate this one. But exercise is important for health, lifespan, and future mobility. I mean, I don’t want to get up off the couch right now either, but if Future You could travel back in time, she would probably tell you to get off your butt for the sake of her future mobility.
3. Clean Your Makeup Brushes
Ugh, I think I made this resolution last year and still have not actually cleaned them even once. (2021 was kind of a blur). I am super gross. Don’t be like me; clean your makeup brushes.
4. Wear Bold Lipstick
Life is short! Get out of your comfort zone and find yourself a bold lipstick and wear it with pride. Carry a mirror to check your teeth.
5. Participate In Trends
There’s something fun about trying something trendy just for the hell of it. Don’t spend a ton of money on something you might not like, but try something weird, like blue lipstick, and see if you like it.
6. Take It Off
Do not forget to remove your makeup at night. Leaving it on overnight can make your pores look giant and haggard. Keep some makeup-removing wipes near your bed if you often find getting up to take off your makeup is too much effort.
7. Take Care Of Your Lips
If you want to be able to wear those bold lipsticks without looking like your mouth is covered in dry, chipped paint, you’ll need to make sure the skin on your lips is as soft and smooth as possible. It’s easy to do, but difficult to remember. Try to make a point to keep a lip balm in your pocket at all times.
8. Drink More Tea
Green tea is excellent for your skin, and it’s also delicious. This is one of the easier to keep resolutions on this list. (Drink any green, white, or rooibos tea you like, but I am a fan of this B.B. Detox by Kusmi Tea. It is rich and grapefruity and refreshing. I got some on a lark a couple of years ago because I thought “B.B. Tea” was funny, but now I have a pot of it every morning and basically don’t drink coffee anymore.)
9. Take More Selfies
You look awesome and there’s no reason not to enjoy that.
10. Learn To Apply Liquid Liner
It will take some practice, but with a bit of scotch tape and some time in the mirror, you will have a liquid liner that will make Taylor Swift jealous.
11. Learn To Contour
I’m not saying you should load up like Kim Kardashian every time you leave the house, but I can’t be the only person who looks at her selfies and thinks, “Man, what would I look like if I could contour like that?” This year, find out. Then do or do not wear the technique as you see fit.
10 New Year’s Beauty Resolutions I Intend To Keep This Year
I’ve never been much for New Year’s resolutions, but I do have a lot of bad beauty habits left to break. But just resolving not to do things isn’t particularly fun, so this year I’m trying to balance “do” resolutions with “don’t” resolutions, like “don’t sleep in makeup” and “do rub more avocados on your face.”
In that spirit, here are my 10 beauty resolutions to keep this year.
1. Don’t Pick Anything
We all know not to try to pick or pop anything that turns up on our skin. Every magazine has been drilling that information into our heads since we were 10. But it’s so hard to follow! Somewhere out there is a person who can actually see a perfectly poppable pimple show up and keep her hands at her sides. She probably also gets up early and flosses twice a day. In 2021, I intend to be that lady.
2. Sleep On Your Back
Sleeping on one’s back instead of one’s side or stomach is supposed to prevent “sleep wrinkles” that show up from when your face is smooshed on one side for 8 hours a night. I am deeply afraid of getting sleep wrinkles. This resolution is probably doomed since I have tried to make it happen every single night since 1993 and have never been able to pull it off. I’m going to keep trying, though.
3. Get A Haircut
I actually haven’t had a haircut in 18 months. When I moved to a small town in Germany a year and a half ago, I made sure to stop every cute-haired woman I saw to ask her where she got her hair cut. Every one of them said, “Oh, my mom cuts it.” Or “Paris.” I’m a goddamn grown-up and should be able to schedule a trim on my own. At some point this year I had better figure out how to get a haircut because I’m starting to look like an angora rabbit.
4. Stop Buying Nail Polish
My nail polish collection is getting ridiculous, and I am not a skilled nail artist. I’m pretty sure I could change my polish every week and still not have to buy a new bottle until 2015.
5. Take Advantage of Duty-Free
Rules go out the window when flying. It is acceptable to drink before 10 a.m. if one is on an airplane, and it is acceptable to buy ridiculously fancy makeup and perfume when one has the opportunity to go through Duty-Free. I’m going to schedule all my international flights through New York because their Duty-Free shopping is amazing. During 2021 I fully intend to spend every flight drunk by noon and covered in Chanel eyeshadow and Hermès perfume. It’ll be great.
6. Try a Tracy Anderson Workout
I hate Tracy Anderson’s exercise philosophy with a deep, abiding vitriol. Unfortunately, I have a policy against hating things I have not actually tried. In 2021 I must try one of her workouts so I can continue to rail against her idea that a woman should never lift anything over 2 pounds without feeling guilty about it.
7. Take More Selfies
I am skittish about taking photographs. On several occasions, I have missed opportunities to have my picture taken with famous and important people because I was worried about looking fat or messy in the picture. That was dumb and I regret it. Maybe taking a ridiculous number of selfies will help me be less squirrelly about appearing in pictures.
8. Master Alexa Chung’s Eyeliner
I can’t have Alexa Chung’s face, body, or bank account, but that little eyeliner flick should be achievable. I commit to sitting down in front of YouTube and not giving up until I have mastered the perfectly insouciant cat-eye flick without screwing them up and having to overcompensate with giant scary raccoon eyes.
9. Beg, Borrow Or Steal A Clarisonic
I can’t possibly be the only person reading beauty blogs and obsessing over the Clarisonic, can I? All the rich and famous and beautiful people swear it will change everything about your face and make you look just like Miranda Kerr, but they tout lots of products that don’t seem to do anything. (I took fishy hair supplements for a year and did not see any noticeable hair improvement.) Unfortunately, the Clarisonic is over $200, which means it’s awfully expensive for something you’re not sure about. My current plan is to become best friends with Miranda Kerr, have her invite me over to her house, and then use her Clarisonic while she isn’t looking. If I like it, I will be sure to let you guys know.
10. Go to a Dermatologist
If I’m spending all this money on makeup and skincare, I should probably also go to an expert, right? I have good health insurance now, so it’s definitely time to make an appointment to talk to someone about health and vanity issues. “Please make sure I do not have skin cancer! … and while we’re here, do you have any thoughts about my nasolabial folds?”