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- 1. Shaving is expensive
- 2. Shaving takes time
- 3. Waxing is painful
- 4. Oh, and did I mention expensive? Waxing is expensive
- 5. Depilatory creams smell bad
- 6. And they’re kind of sketchy
- 7. Plucking is for masochists
- 8. Laser treatments basically turn you into Kim Kardashian
- 9. Laser treatments basically turn you into Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
- 10. Laser treatments basically turn you into a mermaid
I’ve been thinking about doing it. I probably won’t… but I’ve been thinking about it. I’m just really fascinated by the idea of laser hair removal, you guys. There are a lot of reasons why I wouldn’t necessarily get it done (what if hairy legs come back into style? What if we find out in ten years that it’s unhealthy to laser yourself?), but there are 10 pretty solid reasons why I might. Here’s what’s going through my mind.
1. Shaving is expensive
Forget about the shaving cream, the lotion, the ingrown hair treatments or other extra products you have to pay for– just keeping a sharp enough razor in your shower alone can be a big expense. You’re either pushing on a dull blade in the hopes of stretching out its life for one more shave, or you’re constantly breaking in new ones. And don’t get me started on the cost of Band-Aids to cover all the slip-ups.
2. Shaving takes time
Can you imagine jumping in the shower and having the only tasks ahead of you be 1) scrub your body and 2) wash your hair? Eliminating the tricky armpit routine? Not having to stand on your toes or balance your ankle on a soap dish to get all the hair off your legs? It sounds amazing.
3. Waxing is painful
Don’t try to tell me it isn’t. If you’re one of those powerful wax warriors who barely flinches during the process and then walks out of the salon acting like nothing ever happened to her, good for you. I’m not one of those people.
4. Oh, and did I mention expensive? Waxing is expensive
Who has the cash for a biweekly salon appointment? Who has the cash for regular hospital visits to treat the self-inflicted burns that at-home waxing kits love to leave behind?
5. Depilatory creams smell bad
They can advertise themselves as “odorless” all they want, but anyone who’s ever used Nair can tell you that their bathroom maintains a strange chemical smell for the rest of the day.
6. And they’re kind of sketchy
I understand that depilatories are safe, and I’m not afraid of them to the point where I actually avoid them at all, but I still feel a little bit uneasy when I use a chemical to melt the stray hairs out of my face. It’s not exactly natural.
7. Plucking is for masochists
You’re welcome to do it if that’s your thing, but I’m going to go ahead and keep my tweezers in the Eyebrows Only category. I don’t have a lot of time for pulling out individual hairs and I don’t have a lot of patience for thousands of tiny pains.
8. Laser treatments basically turn you into Kim Kardashian
Get all the benefits of feeling like an expensive, luxurious celebrity without having to inject your face with fillers or cover yourself in vampire blood!
9. Laser treatments basically turn you into Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
Is there anything more futuristic than using freaking LASERS to make your skin smooth and hairless? Try going back in time and explaining that to someone in Victorian America. Seriously. Do it. I’ll wait.
10. Laser treatments basically turn you into a mermaid
Why? Because your legs are always shiny and smooth and fishtail-like. That’s why.
So… what do you think? Would you get laser treatments? Have you gotten them? Are there any major pros or cons that I left off this list? If you feel so compelled, leave me a comment below. Maybe we can solve this mystery together?