full brazilian wax
Photo: Robert Verzo/Flickr

My pubic hair choices have gone back and forth over time quite a bit. (This may seem like a TMI statement, but we are a site that covers beauty, and part of beauty is hair, and you knew what you were getting yourself into when you clicked on this article, man.) When I was a teenager, I used to shave all my pubic hair off because that’s what I assumed adults did, and I really wanted to speed up that process, but it was itchy and uncomfortable. As I got older, my removal levels waned and waxed–pun semi-intended–from being full-on, IDGAF status to getting an actual Brazilian. However, at some point, I found the perfect hair/bare balance for me, and this summer, I will once again be getting it.

According to The Cut, it’s called the “full bush Brazilian” and is described as follows:

…[it] involves removing the hair from the labia and butt crack (in accordance with Brazilian-waxing tradition) while leaving everything on top fully grown. It’s the exact opposite of non-Brazilian bikini waxes, which shape the hair on the pubic mound but leave the undercarriage untouched.

Refinery29, on the other hand, calls it the “pubic mullet,” which is a title I don’t want ever associated with any of my carriages. To me, it’s called “the Portlander” because the first time I got it at Sugar Me in Portland, OR, the woman who, ahem, sugared me said that Portland folk had been requesting this style for a long time in the Paris Hilton ultra-low-jean days when everybody was opting for full Brazilians, so eventually they just called it “the Portlander.”

Anyway, let me set the stage for you: I have rather thick hair. This is wonderful for the whole “on the head” business; I can do big waves, curls, and all that fun stuff without fear of the style looking flat. This is less fun for the rest of my body, as I can basically shave my legs, and the hair will pop back up like a bunny from a magician’s hat. (It also sucks because my roots grow within a matter of literal days, so dyeing my hair is problematic, but that’s a whole other conversation.) I can’t handle even moderate pain sometimes–thanks fibromyalgia!–so the idea of waxing is incredibly unappealing, but when I grew tired of shaving bumps yet still wanted to rid myself of a fair amount of hair on my nether region, I decided to just go for it.

I wound up choosing sugaring at the time because I had heard good things about the process, and there was an appointment available. Given that I was in Portland at the time, I opted for “the Portlander,” and she went to work. The experience was certainly not pain-free, but I didn’t shed any tears as she worked the sugar around. (Fun fact: Your butt is the absolute least painful part to have waxed, no joke.)

In addition to the sugaring experience, I’ve tried another couple of full-on Brazilians, and oh my good gracious, they were awful. Awful to the point where, during one instance, a woman in the waiting room heard me scream so badly, she debated canceling her appointment until the esthetician calmed her down. The outsides (i.e., my inner thighs) weren’t so bad, nor the actual genital areas, but gosh, I don’t think I will ever remove hair from my pubic mons again. It felt like a million tiny swords were piercing my skin, and afterward, I felt straight-up bruised. While I’m sure everyone has different experiences depending on their bodies, I have heard from both the waxers and the waxed that the mons is the worst for many, many women.

Now, obviously, I think women should do whatever the eff they want to with their pubic hair. People often mistakenly believe that all women who wax are doing it because they’re seeing somebody, but I know plenty of friends and acquaintances who have told me they simply enjoy the feeling of zero, some, or plenty of hair. It’s totally up to you. But in my humble opinion, if you are self-conscious of your pubic hair when you wear a bathing suit but don’t want to deal with a ton of pain, hate shaving, or just don’t dig the totally bare look, then this whole “full-bush Brazilian” trend is probably the way to go.

Leave A Reply